Understanding

The cool morning air and the soft lapping of the water did little to easy my mind. As I sat immersed in the warm frothy water of the Jacuzzi, my thoughts were troubled. Why hadn’t Ed told me about his son? Who was this man I had said I would marry? How many more secrets were being kept from me? Sighing, I rose and step from the water that was supposed to calm me. Grabbing my towel I began to dry myself off. For the first time in my life I was ashamed of my behavior. I had fled. I had run away from my problems instead of facing them. After the introductions were made, Ed had turned to me and asked if I minded if he took Mark home. He hadn’t seen his son in a while and wanted to get to know the little boy again. Of course I understand I said, smiling. But I didn’t understand. How could a child, not just any child but his child be forgotten? How does one go about forgetting ones own flesh and blood? How could I be so willing to give up my home and the job I had worked so hard for to marry a man I didn’t even know? .

I turned the corner and slipped the key into the lock of my apartment door. I will just need to refocus, I thought. School will be starting again in a few weeks. I will concentrate my energy on my class. This will be the best year ever. Walking into my bedroom to dress, I vowed to start again. No more silly romantic notions. Pulling a pale blue tee shirt over my head and stepping into a pair of faded jean-shorts, I forced myself to smile. The right man is out there, waiting for me. When the time is right I will meet him, I thought. Encouraged, I got myself ready to go to the teachers store and get a few new items for my classroom. Turning on the radio, I found my brush and slipped it through the thick brown hair cascading down and over my shoulders. When I finished, I grabbed my purse, keys and sunglasses and opened the door, ready for my shopping spree.

"OH!" I gasped, started.

"I am sorry Ma’am, I didn’t mean to scare you." Said a young man of maybe seventeen. In his hands was the largest bouquet of pink roses I had ever seen. "I have a flower delivery for you."

Taking the card I removed it from the envelope and opened it.

Yours, Ed.

"I can’t take these." I said angrily and tossed them back to the delivery boy. "I can’t believe that he would think that I would just forget everything and be willing to go back to playing his puppet. God damn him!"

"Jennifer? Don’t take your anger for me out on Gavin, he was just doing me a favor." I turned on my heel at the sound of Eds voice and was ready to march back into my apartment and slam the door in his face. He stopped me. Grabbing my shoulders, he spinned me around and through clenched teeth he said, "Jennifer you are acting like a spoiled child. I was going to tell you about Mark, but damn it, I was scared. And rightly so."

"Me? Acting like a spoiled child? Who in the hell do you think you are? I screamed at him.

"I am you lover, your best friend. I am the man that wants to be your husband. Jennifer, give me an hour. Listen to me. If you still hate me, then I will leave. You owe me this much, you owe yourself."

"You have thirty minutes. Not a second more." I opened my apartment door once more and followed Ed inside.

He sat down so calmly. So sure of himself. I became more infuriated with each self controlled movement he made. I also grew angry with myself. I was becoming aroused. "You have twenty-five minutes left." I said, trying to gain control over the flood of emotions that washed over me. He was so handsome sitting there. The arrogance that I hated was also the self confidence I loved.

"Jennifer, I didn’t think I would ever see Mark again. His mother had custody of him."

"Were you married? Or did you fuck her and leave her too?"

"We were married for less than a year, and if you continue insulting me, we will get no where."

I knew he was right. It has been a low blow, but so had finding out he had a son in the manner I had.

"Alright, I am sorry. Ed I will listen to you, but at this point I don’t trust you anymore. So, what ever you have to say won’t change my mind."

After taking a deep breath, Ed continued. "I didn’t know about Mark until he was 5 months old. His mother, Caroline, didn’t tell me she was pregnant. She was going to keep him from me, as a sort of punishment. When she needed money, she finally told me that I had a son. I wasn’t even sure he was mine. But when I looked into his eyes for the first time I knew. Jenn, I tried to gain custody of him, but the courts didn’t exactly look at me as a good role model for Mark. I was traveling more than I was home. I had no way of taking care of him. Mom offered to help me take care of him, and we brought that up before the judge, but he thought Caroline would be a better parent."

"Is she?" I asked.

"No, Jenn, she isn’t. She tried for a while, but she just isn’t cut out to be a Mom. She doesn’t have your tender ways, your love. When I went for visitation the first time I found Mark on the floor, with a dirty diaper, and empty bottle. Caroline was outside have drinks with her friends. Well, I through a fit and told her if she didn’t get her act together I would find a way to get him. She took my son and left. Jennifer, she took my son from me."

The tears in Eds eyes broke through the brick wall I had built around me and cut straight through to my heart. I walked over to him and wound my arms around his shoulders, holding him as he continued his story. "I tried to find him. Finally after 4 months she wrote me a letter asking for more money. I was able to track her down. By then I also had the courts looking for her and she was told that if she ever pulled a stunt like that again, Mark would be turned over to me and my parents. She stayed put, and actually made sure he had the basics. He never got the love he needed from her though. My hands were tied. As long as he had food, was clean, and cared for by the "courts" standards, I could do nothing. So I worked. I worked as hard and as much as I could. I made sure he didn’t want for anything. At least anything that money could buy. When I found you in the river last week, I was coming to tell you that I had gotten a telegram from Caroline. She said she had had enough. She was getting remarried and didn’t need the stress of Mark in her life. She said if I wanted him, I could have him. Jenn, I was coming to talk to you about it. I didn’t know that she already had him sent on his way. It was a shock to me too. You have to believe me. I love you Jenn."

"I love you too." I need to think Ed. This is a lot to absorb all at once. I am not turning away from you, but I also didn’t plan on being an instant mother.

"I understand Sweetheart, I just don’t want to lose you."

Ed stood up and gathered me into his arms. "Jennifer, you are so beautiful Sweetness." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I felt his lips crushing down onto mine. The desperate passion we both felt was taking over. Our mouths, our hands were searching, grabbing, tearing at each others clothes, shredding. Before either of us knew what had happened we were naked in each others arms. I looked up at Ed, smiled, and blushed. "You are incredibly beautiful Sunshine."

"So are you." I answered shyly. Ed picked me up and carried me to my bedroom where he laid me down on the bed. Holding my arms out to him I begged him I begged him to come to me. "Not yet, I want to look at you." His eyes were searing my skin, making me quiver beneath his heated gaze. Slowly he moved to lie next to me. His fingertips gently moved across my skin, teasing me. He circled a path over my breasts, around my nipples, never touching them. Arching my back I tried to force his touch, but he wouldn’t let me. His fingers continued their torturous path down the valley of my breasts to my stomach and lower, where they became tangled in my dark curls.

Bolts of electricity charged through me with his touch. "Ed, please, I need you. Please take me."

He moved until he was between my legs. Placing a hand on the inside of each thigh he opened me. You are so beautiful here he said as his fingers found their way through the curls and touched my heated core. Spreading his fingers he opened me. The palm of his other hand cupped at my mound, squeezing and moving in delicious circles, massaging my wetness. A sensual smile lifted the corners of his lips as he slid a finger deep inside me. Instantly my hips began to lift and push against him, forcing his penetrating fingers deeper. "Ed, please, please........." Was all I could say.

"Not yet love." He answered. A gasp of pleasure escaped my lips as his thumb brushed over my clit. The touch lasted only a moment, and left me desperate for more.

"Close your eyes Jenn."

"Why?" I asked.

"Please, just close your eyes, and keep them closed. I want you to be able to concentrate on my touch." A few moments after my eyes shut, Ed withdrew his hands from my wetness. I started to protest but stopped when I felt his mouth working its way up my thighs. Once again he slowly tortured me. Brushing against my mound. Kissing my soft curls. "Do you want me to taste you?"

"Yes." My answer was barely more than a whisper, but grew into a loud moan as his tongue danced over my clit. Sliding his hands under me, Ed lifted my hips, bringing me closer to his mouth. He penetrated me with his tongue. He suckled my clit. He circled my ass with his thumbs. It was all more than I could bear. I spiraled to heaven, then shattered into a kaleidoscope of color.

It was only after my breathing returned too normal when Ed once again opened my thighs and placed his velvet cock against my pussy. Penetration was slow, but deep. "I don’t want to hurry Love." He said. "I want to love you all night." Reaching up he stroked his fingers over my breasts, making my nipples harden in delight. Ed slid in and out of me at an almost trance-like pace. We were one. Totally at peace with each other. Our eyes met and held. Lowering himself until he was lying on top of me he sought out my lips. The kiss was soft and gentle. Our tongues mated together. Our passions began to built. Our movements grew faster. Taking my hands in his, our fingers wove together, binding us not only physically, but emotionally too.

"I love you Jennifer." Ed screamed as he poured his seed deeply into me.

"I love you too." I said smiling. "And I always will. We are going to be very happy together."

"We?" My lover asked.

"Yes. We. The three of us....You, Me, and Mark. We will make a very happy family. Dontcha think." I asked smiling into his eyes.

"Yeah Sweetness, I think we will."