Homecoming

It was Monday morning again. The start of a new week. As I walked through the long corridors, listening to my heels click out the sound of my heartbeat, my thoughts returned to the long and sometimes heated discussions I had had with my husband during the past weekend. We had been married for 12 years. Things had begun to get routine. We both had forgotten what is was like to be lovers, best friends, soul mates. Our lives seemed to be, not our own anymore. We both worked. Our children were a constant demand of our time and attention. Then there were all of the other things, the house, pets, in-laws, church, we had lost each other. My husband had no idea who I was, what I wanted, what I thought about, what I desired. He has no idea how badly I needed to feel like a woman, a lover, someone who was desired. Someone he desired. I was wrong..................................

I turned the corner and unlocked the door to my classroom. I loved teaching. The children were so trusting, so full of love, and so eager to learn. I busied myself getting prepared for the day. We were going to be studying about caterpillars and the process they go through to become a butterfly. I found the book I needed, the puppet, the puzzle, and the craft supplies.

"Good morning Ms. Lynn."

"Good morning, Ryan." I said, turning to see his enthusiastic smile. "Why don’t you go over to the book center and choose a few books for circle time."

"OK." He answered.

Soon my classroom was buzzing with the sounds of the happy children telling tales of their weekends. I heard stories of the zoo, birthday parties, and grandparents. Lunch money was brought to me. Three children struggled to outdo each other by pulling back their Band-Aids, exposing their prized assortment of injuries. I sat down at my desk, leaned back in my chair, and smiled. Opening the large drawer of my desk, without looking, I reached in to withdrawal the zippered bag I kept the lunch tokens in. My hand came into contact with something soft and velvety. I pulled the drawer open further and looked down at a beautiful long stemmed pink rose. There was a note attached, and all it said was.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL TO ME.

There was no name...nothing else...just the note. A tingle slipped through my body, starting at the base of my spine and traveled upward. I was embarrassed and intrigued at the same time.

"Who is the flower from?" I heard a small voice say.

"I am not sure." I replied.

"Are you going to put it in water?" Another small voice asked.

"Yes, I guess I had better." I stood up and walked over to the storage cabinet. I had made a point of keeping a small vase there. The children were constantly bringing me flowers they had picked from Moms garden...or even the wild flowers they found along the cracks of the sidewalk as they walked to school. I filled the vase and slid the long stem into the water.

The day progressed like any other, and when the bell rang, I hugged my students, talked to a few parents, and headed home. I felt different though. I was different. I held my head a little higher. I was a bit more confident. I felt desirable. When I got to my car, I opened all of the windows, turned the radio on a bit louder than normal and drove home letting the wind tangle through my hair.

Tuesday came and once again I opened my desk drawer to find a small gift. This time it was a CD. Whoever was sending me these small gifts knew me. Knew me better than most. Knew me well enough to know that I love pink roses, not red ones. Knew me well enough to know my passion for Simon and Garfunkel, for the CD featured one of my favorite songs.........The Sound Of Silence. Wednesday left me more dazed and confused, I found a bottle of my favorite perfume....Pearls and Lace. I had been wearing it since before I got married. This man, whoever he was, he knew me well. In a way I was frightened, but not threatened. I didn’t feel he would hurt me. I did feel that he was someone from my past. Someone I had at one time been very very intimate with. He must have been a lover. Someone I shared my heart and soul with. The thing that frightened me was my reaction to all of this. I was being pulled towards a faceless man. A person who knew me, and I was sure I knew, but I couldn’t see him, and yet I craved him.

Thursday morning I raced through my morning rituals, and arrived at school well before everyone else. I wanted to see if I could catch the person responsible for turning my existence upside down. The walk through the long hallway seemed to take forever. Hurriedly I fumbled with the lock on my classroom door. I dropped the keys and swore silently. Finally the door swung open and I a gasp of surprise and delight filled the room as my senses were assaulted with the fresh scent of daisies. Daisies were everywhere, on my desk, on the centers scattered throughout the room, resting on the children’s desks. Everywhere I looked, pure, white, innocent daisies. Again I opened the top drawer of my desk and found a single tulip with a note attached.

I LOVE YOU

I started shaking. Not sure what to do next. I had never told my husband Paul about the gifts. I wasn’t sure how. Now I didn’t know if I should tell him, but I also knew that this would be all over the school in a matter of minutes once the others arrived. Could it be someone from school? It had to be a person with access to the classroom. I locked it everyday when I left. My head was spinning. My palms were damp. My heart was racing.

"Oh my God Lynn!" I turned to see Debra standing in the doorway. "Who are all of these flowers from?"

"I don’t know." Was all I could say.

"What do you mean you don’t know? Wasn’t there a card?"

The whole story spilled out before I had a chance to stop it. When I finished, she stood there with a look of amazement. "What are you going to do?" She asked

"I don’t know that either." I said with a smile of uncertainty. "Right now I am going to teach this class, and wait for tomorrow."

"Whoever he is, he really likes you. I am not sure if I would want to be in your shoes or not. You have no idea who this is?"

"No."

"Wow, and Paul doesn’t know?"

"No."

Debra shook her head, wished me luck and left. That night I tried to tell Paul what had been happening, but when he finally came home from work, and we had gotten the kids to bed, the dishes taken care of, and had some quiet time, he told me he was going to bed. In a way I was thankful, because I didn’t know how he would take it.

Friday morning I woke up in a bundle of nerves. I laid there for a long time thinking about calling in sick. I wasn’t sure I was ready to handle any more surprises. After yesterday's profession of love, what would today hold? Realizing that if I didn’t go in, my substitute would open the drawer and find whatever had been left, caused me to stir and ready myself for the day. During the drive to work, I promised myself that if anything came today I would call Paul immediately and tell him everything. Debra met me at the front door of the school.

"Are you nervous?" She asked.

"Yes, very. I have no idea what I am going to find today." Together we took the trip down the hallway, to my room. She unlocked the door for me because my hands were trembling. I stood there, not sure I was ready for the mystery that I knew was waiting inside the desk drawer.

"Open it already." She pleaded. As I opened the drawer my expression turned from anticipation and uncertainty to puzzled disappointment.

"There is nothing there." I looked up and told her. "Maybe he got tired of the games." I felt me heart sinking. Everyday this week this unexpected admirer had made me feel like a beautiful, desirable, cherished woman, and now nothing. "Oh well, I guess it is for the best." I stood up, knowing the tears welling up in my eyes showed my frustration.

The rest of morning crept by at an agonizing pace. By lunchtime I was making peace with my disappointment. I had accepted the fact that it had been a fantasy, or perhaps even a joke. I walked my class down to the cafeteria, got them settled with their lunches and proceeded to the teachers lounge.

"Lynn? You have a package here for you. I was going to bring it down after lunch, but you might as well take it now."

"Thanks Linda, it is probably the book order I sent for." I took the package from the school secretary and noticed that it was much too light to be books. The handwriting on the package was very familiar, and I opened it eagerly. Inside was an envelope. Inside the envelope was something folded up in a piece of paper..on the paper was a note.

Lynn....

Twelve years ago you captured my heart.

This week I have tried to recapture yours

I love you and always will.

Yours.......

Paul

I stood there stunned. A hotel key had been wrapped up in the note. I looked at the name on the key and realized that this was not just any hotel, but the hotel we had spent our wedding night in. My heart melted. My Paul, my sweet Paul. He stilled loved me and wanted me. It really made sense. He was the only one who knew me well enough to send me those gifts.

That afternoon, after school, I searched lingerie store after lingerie store. I knew his tastes as well as my own. I wanted to make him feel like he had me. When I finally found the perfect nightie, I paid for it, and made my way to the car. I drove straight to "our" hotel. The room, to my surprise was on the top floor, it was the penthouse. Paul was always so consumed with money and the budget. I had never thought he would splurge like this. The room was decorated in soft blues and cream. It was sumptuous. On a small table was another note. It read....

Lynn,

Everything has been taken care of. The kids are at friends, and I will be there soon.

I would like you to take a long bubble bath. You will find that novel you wanted by the tub.

Enjoy Darling...see you soon.

Paul

I stepped into the bathroom and immediately saw the sunken round tub. It was made of a blue and gray marble. The novel I had been wanting was sitting right where he said it was. The tub was also surrounded by candles of various sized and shapes. A bottle of rose scented bubble bath was perched on a ledge beside the book. I started running the water, poured the bubbles in and slowly stripped off my clothing. When I stepped into the water I felt my body begin to relax. Thoughts of Paul and the intimate moments we had shared in the past flooded my mind. Immersed in the soft, fragrant water, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

Noises in the room woke me. I wasn’t sure if it was Paul, or someone else, so I stayed in my watery sanctuary. Soft music drifted towards me, the door of the bathroom opened and there he stood. My husband. The man who I had given everything I had to give. The man who wanted me, not just as a wife, or as the mother of his children, but as a lover, as a woman. He smiled down at me, and reached for a towel. He held his hand out to me. I took it, and he helped me up.

"Paul? Why didn’t you tell me it was you sending me everything?"

"Sshhh. Don’t talk now, we will talk later. Right now, just let me love you."

It felt new again, like I was seeing him for the first time. When he reached out to dry my wet skin, his touch felt new. It was all so familiar and safe, but yet fresh. "I had forgotten how pretty you really are. He whispered. With that Paul wrapped the towel around me and swept me up into his arms, carrying me the large canopied bed that stood proud in the center of the room. He laid me down, and slowly opened the towel. For a long time, he stood there, just looking at me.

"I do love you Lynn, I am sorry if I haven’t been there for you the way you have needed me to be. Please don’t ever doubt that I do love you." Slowly his fingers traced a path down my arm, and he closed his hand over mine, our fingers entwining. He sat on the bed beside me and drew lazy circles across my stomach. Looking into my eyes, I felt an electricity that had long been forgotten. Without a word he lowered his mouth to my nipple, sucking it in, covering it with his warmth. Tenderness, love, devotion, it was all felt as he made love to my breasts. Then his lips met mine, and I was lost. I had come home. We had found our way back to each other, we had just begun to celebrate. My arms closed tightly around my lover, my husband. Our tongues mated as our souls and hearts united once again. Without a word, I knew the time was right and I opened my body for him. His hardness slid inside, penetrating. Our kisses took on new meaning, they became wild, frenzied. We consumed each other wanting to drink in as much as possible, frantic that we might slip back in time and once again surrender to the daily demands of our lives. Our hands were grabbing at each other, clawing, grasping trying to hold on to what we had just found again. Our bodies denied us. Passion overtook us and together we climaxed. Slowly we drifted back to each other, and reality.

Paul took me in his arms and held me. I smiled, then knowing that this wasn’t going to go away. This glorious feeling we had rekindled would remain. It would remain in our hearts, in our minds, in out spirits. We had found our way home.